Hobbit-like ‘Beaker People’ to ancient guardian giants
There was once apparently a time when giants strode England’s green and pleasant land; actual behemoths, not simply lanky folk, especially when they’re compared to the swarthy, furtive, hobbit-like, and meanly acquisitive Basque-descended ‘Beaker People’ of the time - who to this very day, constitute a fair percentage of the country’s indigenous population. Quite obvious when one wanders down the streets of many an English burgh, where these shuffling, unwashed, gimlet-eyed figures are common.
You want further proof?
Aye, that’s correct, not Celts, Anglo-Saxons, Picts, Vikings or Normans, but Basques from Northern Spain:
There are few, if any contemporary sightings of giants in the UK; aside from Northern Ireland, where genetically mutated AIP-gene* ogres still abide in Sperrin mountains of Mid-Ulster, some of their forbears having reached 7ft 6in tall.
*AIP - Aryl Hydrocarbon Receptor Interacting Protein. Gene which causes pituitary adenomas in some families with acromegaly (a rare disorder that occurs when the pituitary gland produces too much growth hormone after the skeleton has finished growing) and occasionally prolactinomas (noncancerous (benign) pituitary tumors that produce a hormone called prolactin, that triggers breast milk production), and very rarely with other types of pituitary adenomas.
Legendary Giants
But in England, the giants are (mainly) the stuff of legend, figures such as Avon-Gorge creating brothers Goram and Vincent (Bristol), 28ft tall Jack o' Legs (Hertfordshire, some factual basis - perhaps), Blunderbore, Cormoran, two-headed Thunderdell (all Cornish), Ascapart (Hampshire), Colbrand (Winchester), the Penhill Giant (Yorkshire), William of Lindholme (Doncaster, also Yorkshire) and Yernagate (The New Forest).
Some dubious theorising:
No doubt there are other Welsh, Scotch and Irish (as we have seen) giants, but for the purpose of this investigation, I will concentrate on English - and more specifically London leviathans.
David Lowery’s excellent The Green Knight (2021) contains a very evocative scene where a questing Sir Gawain (Dev Patel) encounters a group of giants:
Gog and Magog: London’s Protectors
The names first appear in the Old Testament's Book of Ezekiel. Gog is a landowner and Magog is the land’s name. In Revelation, they become one single being — representing the hostile nations of the world.
In London lore, Gog and Magog (or possibly Magog and Cornelius) were supposedly the gigantic product of the thirty-three naughty daughters of Roman emperor Diocletian (242/245 – 311/312 AD) and the demonic imps they'd been enjoying frantic carnal congress with.
When Brutus (not that one) founded ‘New Troy’ (which would later become London), he brought to heel the pair, indenturing them as guardians of the city, chaining them on leads outside his palace, which is now the venerable London Guildhall.
Gog and Magog live on
Nonsense? Probably. But the legend lived on, with the two fearsome colossi continuing on as the city's guardians. Effigies appeared at the coronation of Elizabeth I in 1558 and made recorded appearances at the Lord Mayor's Show over the years preceding the enthronement.
The custom of carrying effigies and images such as Gog and Magog at festivals is a hangover from the good old days of human sacrifice, when the victim was replaced with a symbolic representation. The custom of carrying figures at festivals was common during the Middle Ages in England and the giants of myth were among them. Just 20 miles up the road in Hertfordshire, there is an annual St Albans Pilgrimage, where ‘12ft tall carnival puppets, representing figures from the story of St Alban, take to the streets to re-enact his historic story. The puppets are accompanied by people of all ages dressed as lions, Roman soldiers, angels, chariots and more.’ ¹
Made by the Worshipful Company of Basketmakers, wicker figures of Gog and Magog are the latest incarnation to take part of the London Mayors Parade and have been part of the show since the reign of Henry V.
From 1839 until the late 1920s, figures of the two were displayed at the front of Sir John Bennett's Clock Shop on Cheapside. Bizarrely though, they now live in the Henry Ford Museum in Michigan:
Other Gog and Magog statues have been in Guildhall for centuries; the current ones date from 1954, replacing 18th century statues destroyed in the blitz, which in turn, replaced the wicker and paste 17th century ones, which were eaten by rodents. A still earlier set were burnt in the Great Fire in 1666.
Charles Dickens describes statues coming to life
Cheeky Cockney kids were told to behave otherwise the pair would eat them for supper; Charles Dickens in Master Humphrey's Clock describes the statues coming to life and necking large quantities of wine.
‘The statues of the two giants, Gog and Magog, each above fourteen feet in height, those which succeeded to still older and more barbarous figures, after the Great Fire of London, and which stand in the Guildhall to this day, were endowed with life and motion. These guardian genii of the City had quitted their pedestals, and reclined in easy attitudes in the great stained glass window. Between them was an ancient cask, which seemed to be full of wine; for the younger Giant, clapping his huge hand upon it, and throwing up his mighty leg, burst into an exulting laugh, which reverberated through the hall like thunder.’
Earliest surviving representations in the UK - Possibly
Figures of the duo are also to found at the church of St Dunstan-in-the-West; the statues are, I believe the earliest surviving representations in the UK, dating from the 14th century. Probably, unless they are instead of Old King Lud, flanked by his two sons Androgeus and Theomantius. They previously were mounted at Ludgate, until it was dismantled in the 18th century, finding a new home within their niche at St Dunstan-in-the-West.
The Fleet Street frontage is noted for its clock where definitely Gog and Magog beat the hourly bell with their clubs.
The Biblical take on the names:
I loved this as a kid:
Stephen Arnell’s novel THE GREAT ONE is available on Amazon Kindle:
Footnote
1 - St Albans Cathedral website
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