Wednesday, 17 June 2026

Have I Been Abandoned?

There is no doubt about it – grief is a debilitating emotion and a journey that we all have to take. There are so many aspects to grief and grieving, that one can’t really begin to label them and it would be wrong to do so. Experiencing the touch of the spirit world can never be forgotten but over time, an individual may feel they have been abandoned yet again. Why? Because the elation that comes with just one experience with the spirit world is short lived and can leave the individual feeling abandoned once more.

When we lose a loved one, we often experience some form of connection from the other side. There are abundant stories of how loved ones have reached out with unusual signs and signals to let us know that they are around. For instance, one person may experience the unusual appearance of a butterfly or perhaps some other sign from the animal kingdom. Another may feel the touch of their loved ones from the other side in other unusual ways, including communication from electronic devices. For example, on one occasion during a sitting, a mother was told her daughter would connect with her through the phone, and she did. No matter how those experiences manifest, they are felt deeply at every conceivable level. But when no other experience is forthcoming, one can begin to feel a sense of disappointment and abandonment and develop a yearning to hold onto those deeply personal experiences. It’s rather like someone feeling the need to binge eat or drink, that feeling of euphoria wants and needs to be constant.

Have I been abandoned?

The answer is a resounding NO! But of course that is often unbelievable to the grieving individual who is suffering and trying to come to terms with their loss. Unless you continue to feel that comfort you experienced in the first realization of death, you will come to the conclusion that you have been abandoned.

So what has happened? Why do you feel such distance? There can be a few reasons for this, but the underlying truth is that you are not abandoned and that spirit is always trying to let you know of their presence. Let’s look at some possible explanations as to why you may feel the way you do and what could also be happening on the spirit side of life.

You have been given proof and recognized it

Oftentimes, when someone passes over to the other side and they have some prior spiritual awareness, they will be acutely aware of the loss that you are feeling and they will be compelled to reach out in some way and let you know they are alive and well and still a part of your life. This can come in many ways and could be signs of spirit from animal interaction, musical awareness, signs such as synchronistic events, smells and so much more.

When you recognize that it was your loved one, it also brings relief to the spirit who has gone home to longer feel that pull of your need to feel them –  they feel that they have proven their existence and so can now move to their next stage of learning. This does not mean they have left you, it just means they have moved onto the next phase of life and are no longer shackled to the earthly existence; they learn to feel you and commune with you on a different level, on a higher and clearer vibration.

Spirit moving on and developing does not mean you are abandoned

abandoned grief spirit
First edition (Burnside Rare Books)

When your spirit loved ones move on, they do not leave you. They have a higher spiritual awareness and are therefore pulled to continue their development and answer their call to service. There is a compelling need to serve in some capacity. In a trance communication noted in the book 30 Years Among the Dead, written in 1924 by Swedish-American psychiatrist and paranormal researcher Carl A. Wickland, MD, spirit clearly made it known they were serving in some way:

“I wish you could see how Uncle F. works in the dark earth sphere to help and to serve the unfortunate ones there, to prevent them from obsessing any one. He is so anxious to have everybody know the real truth on the other side, and it is a pity that so much dogma and creed are the stumbling blocks. The little time I have been gone I have learned so much.”

Many are called to service or are compelled to serve and to learn. Therefore, their vibrations change. As love is held upon that vibration, they are always connected to you through bonds of love. Those bonds will never be broken and the thought that is omitted is also that call on that love vibration.

The Fog of Grief

If you are grieving, you may be so deep in your grief that you fail to realize or recognize the signs that your loved ones are all around you. Imagine if you will, an impenetrable fog that you can’t see through. This is the epitome of your grief and your grieving. You can’t see the beauty of the spirit world because of that fog of grief. Your loved ones may be visiting you in your dream state, but can’t penetrate because of the heavy burden of your grief. They will be sending you signs in your everyday life, but because of your emotional state, your vibration emits a foggy shield that is akin to your ego protecting you in the material world but failing to open your spiritual eyes.

In your grief, you fail to see the blessings sent by your loved ones because you are so consumed with your loss and how it’s affecting you. This state of selfishness is not negative, it is just a part of learning about the grieving process. You should not feel bad about it because over time you will change and grow, and no longer be consumed by your loss and feeling abandoned; as you begin to emerge from the fog of grief, you will become more selfless and open to spirit.

Opening Your Spiritual Eyes

abandoned grief spirit
Spirit is Simple - Man Makes It Complicated

As a consequence of when that fog lifts, you begin to see the new land, like Columbus finally seeing the new world and you begin to look at things differently. You begin to notice that spirit is around you and never far from you. How is this achieved? Very simple:

~ Make a concerted effort to notice that which is beyond the material

~ Communicate with spirit on your own level

~ Speak from the heart

~ Become more mindful and engage with the here and now, rather than the past or future

~ Learn to meditate simply by connecting with yourself

The more you speak with your loved ones from your heart and not from a place of need, the easier that fog will lift and the sun will shine once more.

Note: This article was originally published in the Afterlife Magazine by The Otherside Press which has since joined the PDN group.

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